Hm, ideea cu frigidere de unica folosinta nu-i rea deloc… :d

1) A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious.
2) No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
3) A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
4) A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
5) Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
6) Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
7) A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
Help keep the kitchen clean – eat out.
9) Housework done properly can kill you.
10) Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
11) My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines.
12) The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house when I bought it.
13) There are only three kinds of food – Frozen, Canned, & Take-out!
14) This is a self-cleaning kitchen. Please clean up after yourself.

FROZEN FOODS – Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

EGGS – When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS – Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway – if you can dig down and still find something non-green, bon appetit!

MEAT – If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, toss the meat.

UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it is well beyond prime when you’re tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food.

CANNED GOODS – Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of… very carefully.

POTATOES – Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable “spots” that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread.
Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are good indications that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment. You may wish to discard it at this time, depending on your interest in pharmaceuticals.

CEREAL: It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date, or when it will no longer fall out of the box by itself.

FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles, or things fly out when you open it.

PRETZELS: Normally eternal, pretzels may be discarded if they can no longer be picked up without falling apart. Otherwise, there’s nothing to stop you from eating a pretzel that the Pharaoh put down only 4000 years ago.

RAISINS: Raisins should not usually be harder than your teeth.

SALT: It never spoils. However, if you can’t chip off reasonable amounts from the block, maybe another box is in order, as fresh salt usually pours.

SPICES: Most spices cannot die, they just fade away. They will be fine on your shelf, forever. Put them in your will.

VINEGAR: If your grandmother made it, it is probably still good.

THE GAG TEST – Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).

EXPIRATION DATES: This is not a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you’ll spend more on groceries.
Even dry foods older than you are may be ready to replace. Perhaps you’d benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.

Cine shtie, cunoashte. Chapeau bas, Tom Waitistule…